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David Powlison observes: “All women except one—your wife—are in the category of mother, grandmother, sister, daughter.

Your girlfriend or fiancee is a ‘sister’ first of all and should be treated as such.” Until you are married, she is my daughter and your sister. Second, treat my daughter as you would treat your sister—with selfless love.

With a cultural war on manhood, you have lost markers that give you confidence. And you take this informality into your relationship with the opposite sex. Indeed, informality can be a benefit to seeing each other as friends.

Allow a former young man to give you some guidance. But in a world of “friends” there is not a distance that can foster a romantic relationship. We “like” things on Facebook and “friend” people we met just once. Ask a young lady out for coffee to get to know her, but also do this with other young ladies. Since this is a “date,” ask the girl to go out with you.

The following questions are designed to allow you to get to know your daughter’s boyfriend better.

The key to these questions are not just the topics covered, but the actual form of the question.

———————— BIO: Chap Bettis is the executive director of The Apollos Project, a ministry dedicated to helping families pass the gospel to their children.

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First, treat my daughter as you would treat your sister—with absolute purity. Deliberately seek to socialize together or (radical thought!

Chap is the author of You, too, can help support the ministry of CBMW.

He and his wife, Sharon, have four children and reside in Rhode Island.

All of this vague social contact can lead to too much information. And do this with some that seem less attractive to you. Do this with another guy friend to take the pressure off. Call her if you have to, but take the highest form of communication.

It can also lead to confusing and blurry relationships. Your reputation will soar when word gets out that you and your friend care to treat younger women as sisters, made in the image of God, and valuable to Him.

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A first date, for example, comes before scenes dealing with marriage, and scenes dealing with marriage come before those dealing with child rearing.

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