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One of the main reasons, Riley finds, is that the older people get, the more likely they are to intermarry — and Jews tend to marry older than Americans generally, according to the 2000-01 National Jewish Population Survey.By the same token, Mormons, who encourage early nuptials, are the least likely faith to outmarry.“If I meet a woman who wants to raise Jewish children,” said Neil, 47, “this is something that I could wrap my mind around.” He also said he would consider converting.Will, 49, a school guidance counselor in Pennsylvania who is a practicing Catholic, joined JDate several months ago at the urging of a Presbyterian friend who had found love on the website.It was winter break from Penn Law School for Shannon and Penn Engineering for Brandon, and they decided to cook up a traditional Persian Shabbat dinner for their friends, both Persian and not, many of whom have become frequent guests at the trio’s events.“Growing up we became accustomed to our parents’ way of entertaining even though they have assimilated too much into the American culture.The warm hospitality of the culture is ingrained in us,” said Shannon Hedvat, 24, the middle of the three.“No matter who was coming over for whatever reason, my parents always had a huge bowl of fresh fruit, nuts and sweets on the table along with tea and coffee.” Even as they hew to their Iranian heritage and their parents’ culture of hospitality, the Hedvats and other 20- and 30-something Persians, the first to be born in America, are transforming the famously insular Iranian community here in unexpected ways.

What Riley doesn’t devote much attention to is who are the gentiles marrying America’s Jews.In most cases, interfaith marriages may be the result of happenstance: Non-Jewish Americans happen to meet and fall in love with a Jew.But some Americans are specifically looking for Jewish mates.Riley, who identifies as a Conservative Jew, is herself intermarried.She says assimilation has been a good and bad thing for American Jews.

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