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It wasn’t love at first Tweet, but the attraction our conversations and Google searching generated caught me off guard. Here’s a word you’ll never read about in the more restrained online love stories – masturbation. Later that day, I woke up to a text message from him.I didn’t think it would go any further than an unrequited crush. I mean, how else are two people – separated by thousands of miles but who nevertheless share immeasurable bursts of affection and passion – supposed to connect with each other? “I love the sounds you make,” he wrote, and he wasn’t talking about my Martha Generic impersonation.We even had a song – Billie Holiday’s “Easy to Love.” It didn’t matter that we were nowhere near ready to use the loaded L-word.

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Even though I had a few hang-ups about his polyamory, I just knew that I had to meet him in-person.

I didn’t know then that you can never be “sure.” I remember that I was trembling as I entered my credit card number into online ticketing. He didn’t hesitate to reply, “Go ahead and buy it.” I made a rule that we wouldn’t sleep together unless we were both single by the time I went to meet him. As fate would have it, things fizzled in his open relationship and he was feeling pumped up from the self-esteem boost that comes in being the one to end a relationship, The Dumper as opposed to The Dumped.

He wrote a song about the break-up a few days before my flight. “And she'll be monogamous.” I wore rosewater perfume (his favorite scent) on a cross-country flight with a connection in Denver, spritzing myself in various airport bathrooms with a travel-sized bottle in order to keep myself calm. I had flown solo to Portland, Oregon and Portland, Maine, to Madrid and Paris and Amsterdam, Berlin and Dublin.

And slowly, over weeks, he was learning more from me than just dirty talk.

We talked all of the time, it seemed, through every medium we could get our hands on: instant messages, text messages, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, cell phone calls, work phone calls.




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