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“But I’m very much enjoying being a newlywed and I don’t think I’m capable of any more decisions right now.At the moment, I can’t even choose between planting blue or yellow iris bulbs for the spring.” But imagine, Victoria, how terrifyingly clever your children would be?For a couple whose brand of humour is shot through with cynicism, there was something quite heart-warming about the fact that they didn’t tie the knot clad in downbeat civvies and an air of post-modern ennui.In the event, he wore a conventional morning suit and she a fabulous white gown with spangles and a train the length of the Flying Scotsman. “I am filled with this bizarre mix of thinking David could have done a lot better than me and feeling we’re so alike and complement each other so wonderfully that we are the ideal match and couldn’t possibly be with anyone else.” For all her self-effacement, Coren, daughter of the late Punch satirist Alan Coren and sister of food critic Giles, is herself quite a catch. “I mean, he’s a hugely successful television comedian, he could have had a gorgeous 24-year-old skinny wife with a tiny nose and a string bikini, but he chose me! ” Coren, or Coren Mitchell as she haphazardly calls herself when she thinks it won’t cause too much confusion, is so disarmingly, so extravagantly in love with her husband of 10 months, I (almost) forgive her.

“David’s not as posh as you’d think and neither am I,” she says.They wouldn’t dream of appearing in fake tan and prosthetic nails, although I obviously insist on them.” To present the programme, she must presumably be a-brim with esoterica; apparently not.“It’s easy for me to appear terribly knowledgeable when I roll my eyes and say: 'No, no, you fool, it was 12th-century Venice!“I’m infuriated by stubborn stupidity but charming, happy ignorance is fine. Writing is hard and I don’t do much of it, but a writer is what I strive to be.” Occasionally she appears on Question Time, but has been known to precipitate consternation when her views aren’t predictably Leftie, thereby causing an imbalance on the panel. In terms of tax-and-spend stuff and dreaming of a Utopian socialist world, yes,” she says.Besides, these days you can have babies well into your eighties, so the way I see it, I’ve got decades left.” In the meantime, she will continue to multitask her way through three careers. “But I think ultimately I’m a libertarian because I’m concerned about the massive curtailment of personal freedom.




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