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“Not going to happen,” she said, and started to get ready for bed. Once again there is no right or wrong, but Sara too missed a chance to connect. Sara says she’s worried about an upcoming dinner with David’s mom, and David dismisses her worry. They each have to let go of excuses, stop waiting for the other person to change, and learn to show up in a different way.David let’s Sara know that he had a rough day, and she says, “well at least you got a lunch break.” David’s too tired to watch a movie. If these moments are in the majority, couples like David and Sara are likely to feel that they’re drifting apart. A path to reconnection Sara and David’s experience shows a drifting apart that happens in not only marriages, but also with friends, colleagues, and family.Is electronically blocking someone so much worse than finding out via his Facebook newsfeed that he has a new girlfriend?To find out why cutting digital ties is necessary to heal and move on, we turned to the Your Tango Experts.Drifting apart “We’re drifting apart,” Sara said during our first meeting. They got along well enough, but lived more like roommates than a married couple. Friends lose touch, colleagues move on, children forget to write home. But much more often there are reasons for the greater distance. “We have completely different interests,” David added.Sara and David each had a story about how it happened. They made these statements as if they were road-blocking obstacles, landslides that covered the path ahead.

What makes relationships strong, she argues, is not big acts of passion, but rather the “micro-moments of warmth and connection” that happen every hour of every day.These moments steadily change relationships over time, as a trickle of water shapes the bedrock as it travels.Small positive moments are create the strong bond of connection that happy couples savor.He said that his dream was to be out of the rat race, and talked about moving to the country, building a cabin, and getting off the grid.Sara thought about how isolated she would be in an off-the-grid cabin, and started to feel anxious. They each have to recognize their own contribution to the pattern of drifting apart.

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